dumb.

just some thoughts that's running rampant in my mind recently. the purpose of the things that i'm doing.

i can't put on a front very well. if i'm sick of doing it, the results shows my obligated interest in it. kinda like i'm fulfilling it to complete someone else's work.

deadlines are made for me to finish it at the stipulated time.
not if i do it in a shoddy fashion.
not if i do it outstanding.
i just finish it for your sole pleasure.

initiative isn't readily cultivated in me unless i like what i do. effort is useless when you get put down all the time no matter how much you try. it's stupid trying to please someone with something you don't have a clue about. you'll only end up dumber than before when you're trying to explain something you don't have a donkey at all in the first place.

acting smart is ok.
but don't chew on what you can't swallow.