seven days.

seven days.

so many things happened, and i can't recall any of it.
the mind's a void to express well due to a state of interference from my subconcious.
i can't think very well recently.
with my slurred speech and my thoughts degenerating every moment.
it summons a massive effort just to hear myself string a verbally correct sentence.

will update in here really soon.
i'm getting slow.

probably.

not very motivated to write alot today. when you're feeling sick in the gut, nothing spectacular happens.
you only feel sick.

probably its because clutter of matters i've left unattended.
probably its because the week eases so slow, time seems to hang unto eternity.
probably it could that petty skepticism buries my inspiration. none that i had any left.
probably because i associate negativity as a routine of the norm.

or probably it's just the medicine.
yuck.

changing times.

just got back from the camp. it seems that changes is a commodity in there. but they're definitely for the better.

i've lost my voice. no idea when i'll recover but, it's worth it. my district rocks. i've absolutely no idea what i was in when i went there, but it's amazing in a bizzare fashion how God changes people. overnight.

God you're awesome. with you everything is made perfect and possible.
my praise for You never stops expressing itself like a permanant dynamo.

the times are changing and the world's moving towards a new direction.
it's time for us to change the world in Jesus' name.

inside.

everything that shuns itself away from being the pointed objective often paints a grey image of itself. either it's just another negative silhouette of enraged emotions or it projects a past which can't be revealed.

you can see him on the outside.
but can you depict what's on his mind?
you tried constantly to analyze and argue.
but in the end you're wasting your time, playing the fool.
your subconscious is manipulating,
your logic is failing and falling.
the angst in you is what you can't bear.
more than the sullen void inside you.

what are you?

response

since my net's down again, i think putting down my entries down in a notepad would suffice till the time i can actually upload them to my blog when the connection's resumed. starhub sucks.
nobody likes nothing for a response. it's like communicating to a wall. whenever we say something or make an enquiry, an answer in return is what we should expect. basic courtesy for anyone who understands what the other party is talking about. those who don't are probably just dumb or have attitudes that matches their aloofness which is just about as empty as their brain.

i love responses. even if it comes on as something negative. the least i know you're bothered enough to hear me. loved those people who always say,

"i'm not listening to what you're saying!"

"can you repeat what you just said? i can't hear you."

contradicting folks. just cracks me up.

today He gave me a response. that allows me to spend a few days in camp to seek Him, to come before Him and give thanks for this year, how it's been and all. Lord i thank You for Your response to me. thank You.

she responded to me today too. i know she's doing fine. i missed her too.

we need to hear more than we speak.
only then will we answer more appropriately.
its no wonder we have two ears and one mouth.

back.

i'm back from the mission trip. the experience is simply awesome. God's presence is amplified in thailand like which pulsates likes frequency waves throughout. salvation, signs and wonders is a commodity and i thank God for pouring out His blessings unto the people who needed Him so much.

couple of people i thank God for during my ball in thailand.

Gareth: thanks for being such a great leader. your firm decisions and meticulous ways are what made us keep to our programs and not lose our toes. and our heads.

Phee: like i said before, you're an great individual in a small package. everything is accounted for through you. size doesn't matter in His kingdom. continue to upkeep that high in you.

Seow: thanks for being the backbone and big brother of the group. even though it took you awhile to get here, your presence is greatly appreciated.

Liangzhi: you're one cute snag. thank God for the spirit of gentleness that resides within you. it's definitely not gay.

Eugenia: another wonderful support to the team. always edifies and encourages through notes and her gestures. awesome. i applaud you.

Arthoven: the cam man. the life and laughter of the group exists in you. seek God always. you're gonna be a great in Him.

Edward: cheers for the vitamins. it's because of you that allows all of us to not do ministry with runny noses and sore heads. consistent and persistent. in the nicest way i've ever seen.

Yiting: innovative. always considering others first before herself. thanks for all the breakfast in the van. and stop laughing at me. i told you my face isn't funny.

Carista: the silent help of the group. the morale keeper. in words, works and prayer. you're the backstage crew man. thank God so much for you. you're cool.

it's great to serve the Lord with them.
best wishes thailand.