wow.

been reading through my past entries.
are those written by me?

i'm not chim.
not deep.
at all.
that's not a reflective oxymoron.
really.

i am not scary.
talk to me.

Jesus.

the tale of the tearing lady.
leaving joy,
tearing sorrows in her heart.
fearing day that she can't face it all,
distress and in need of her hero she calls.
not today, for the dust doesn't fall.
not on the shelves, but onto the floor.
welling up all,
her feelings inside.
broken and crushed,
she feels so denied.

"what is this pain that is just killing me?
isn't life fair, with hope and be free?
all of my life is like walking the stairs,
i can't finish them, i live in despair.
help me out Lord, and come set me free.
that i might live in Your arms, that You helped me to see.
that beyond all human comprehension can find,
the greatest love You gave, is not of our kind.
ours is shallow, but Yours is so deep.
that You gave Him to die, that we all might live."

indeed.
He gave it all.
that we all might live.

thank God.

i'm confused.
seems like when you begin to devote and give God the time of your day, He will bless you. literally.
too much that, i'm in a dilemma now. another job offer came along with better pay and a better work enviroment.

You gotta help me on this.
it's a happy problem, at the very least.

grats.

to Juncheng and Liezhen,

thank for making the most wonderful and decisive decision of your life.
that's the greatest gift we could ever offer.
beyond all.

God bless you two.
our journey begins.

dud.

sometimes i get tired of writing coz i wondered if anyone ever bothered to read at all. i know everything posted here is often subjected to scrutiny and criticism, but free speech should be allowed. certainly not in a senseless fashion of letting our tongues lash fury and folly all over, but to make yourself sound that you can still drive and your point without impending over your cool.

i think there's two extremes in people who are furious.

1) incredibly vulgar retards whose vocabulary is hopelessly limited,

and,

2) intellects-with-the-i-know-more-bombastic-phases-and-words-that-will-make-you-look-like-a-noob.

conclusion for both in the end?
shallow and immature.

the empty vessel makes the most noise.
leaking airheads.

where now?

if we're called to something great which we should achieve in this life to prepare us for the other, we'll only diss ourselves for missing the plane just to smell the rotting roses.

where your heart is where you'll call that place your home.

my meaning? go figure.

collect dust.

things don't come your way if you're content to just sit around and wait for kingdom come.

they happen when we bother to ask.
when we care to do.
if we're not making excuses.
only if we try.
when our mouths make our words understood.
if we stop procrastinating and shrug it off for another day.
when the moment is now and not tomorrow.
when the extra mile is really the extra mile we went.
when we're doing something out of our petty convenience.
if only we grow up and stop pointing fingers.

are we?
thats why we got a brain to facilitate and a mouth to articulate.

help.

i need to find a job soon. savings depleting like i'm draining them away faster than i can account myself for. expenses is always on the rise when you're learning the value of money on spending it on food of different prices and different taste.

so? they're still food.
what's wrong with me?
whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy