cut some slack.

has been a few days since i am discharged from my service. mopping around at home sometimes isn't all too bad, just that it kills all motivation for me to actually get anything real done.
and i'm starting work too in a few more days in some location i've not even heard of before.
i hope i don't get lost.

not that i don't venture and gain nothing.
the stupidity of making the same mistake twice actually makes the person smarter on the third attempt.

thank You Jesus.

ORD loh.
its over.

hoho.

a few more days before i finish my national service. doing some last minute clearing from my camp locker before i leave anything behind which i'll regret.
how two years have passed by and with so many thing happening over the past periods, everyday becomes significant. just that i don't reminiscent that much.
much over and done with.
i'll tell more in a few days.
feeling weird.

yuck.

i used to abhor the system and hate the chores.
now i realised something even more.

i'm living in it.
how i wished i could live in a sporadic momentum in time.

not linked.

"perfection is like poison to the simple."

i can't believe that a cup i drank from an hour ago can be completely dry now with not even a single tinge of water given the fact that the moisture in singapore is ever so present even on a hot day.

i am horrified.

help.

i run away from reality.
i am always living in illusion.
i wish to be disenchanted.
i want to break off the shackles that binds me.

i fail more than i am accepted.
i can't fulfill in the very least of my responsibilities.
i can't do any better now than what i am already doing.

oh God.
help.

ho yeah.

ho-hum.
another day.
just like any other.
the birds still fly and fill the skies.
the market still goes on about its daily business.
the buses still travels and ferries people to their destined destination.
the rain still pours down.

me?
i'm a high on non-depressants.
i'm the very critic of my social appearance.
i look good when i look disheveled.
i flatter myself when i am outdone by others.

but wait.
there's a purpose in living everyday.
not to gratify yourself with silly whims and selfish desires.
but in expressing a chance to give at every channel.
in lighting up another person's life that's out of our routine.

there has got to be more to life than just life itself.

to Jesus.

Lord I'm amazed by the love that You give.
on the mount of cruxificion.
You laid Your life down for me.

the mercy You have given me.
is more than I need.
I am saved only by Your grace.
thank You for the cross,
my savior.
lead me to the place,
of communion.

nothing in my hands I bring,
simply to the cross I cling,
for all that You have done for me.
this love song I will sing.

only You,
can fill,
the vaccum in my heart.
only You,
can love,
me like no else.

I will run to You.
I will run to You.

this song speaks volumes.